You Know You Are Pregnant When...

Monday, August 25, 2014

  • The smell of your once favourite foods are enough to leave your head in the toilet bowl.

  • Your handbag now consists of a big book of maternity notes, enough vitamins to set up a pharmacy and an empty wee sample pot at all times.

  • You can't help crying at just about EVERYTHING!

  • Painting your toe nails or attempting any kind of hair removal from your lady parts or legs suddenly becomes impossible.

  • You have to resort to doing up your favourite jeans with a hair bobble, IF you can get them around your new found thunder thighs that is.

  • At least once you have a terrified stranger ask 'You are pregnant aren't you?'.

  • The best use of any 'Me time' becomes having a nap (this doesn't go away once baby arrives).

  • Family members suddenly think it is ok to tell you what forms of contraception you can use once baby arrives (as if you do not know this already) (worse third time round when they all tell you about the miracle they call sterilisation).

  • You can no longer sleep without the need to wrap your legs around a bunch of pillows or the duvet (much to your partners dissatisfaction).

  • You have at least once woken up horrified to have had inappropriate dreams about a friend or acquaintance. OR

  • You have woken up gutted to find you didn't in fact get lucky with Chris Hemsworth that night. Damn it!

  • Just a laugh or sneeze leaves you at great risk of peeing yourself.

  • You find yourself actually WANTING to bleach every surface in the house for fun.

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  1. This brings back some memories! Also when complete strangers at the bus stop think it's ok to start rubbing your belly!!